I don’t know what it takes!

I don’t know what it takes!

I don’t know what it takes to pour my heart into a page.

I don’t know how your words bleed from the ink when you write.

I don’t know how the alphabets cry when you try to spell your mental condition when you are not in a position to utter a word.

My dear soul, it takes years quenching down the fact that nobody loves and cares for you the way you expect the world to do.

It doesn’t encourage people when you go beyond limits to treat them right and they get back to you empty-handed.

Are we really not supporting that which is no more than an illusion? or are we just excusing ourselves for having toxic treatment?

The world we live in has only materialistic, pragmatic, and practical beings who want to take everything from you; your love, care, respect, innocence, emotions, feelings, ego, and more significantly your self-respect itself and responds with a wet blanket.

The only interrogation that my mind does right away is, Are we capable of living in an environment where nothing connects to your soul.

Are you are just up for giving your everything to someone without having any small effort back from them?

Some girls who are more inclined to honesty and emotional satisfaction always end up having the most toxic and emotionally unavailable partners.

This leads them to mental illness and emotional trauma because they are even more sensitive to the people who are connected to them.

That’s not that they are not aware of their worth. It’s just that they can’t come out of their shell that they have built of their favorite people. 

My dear strong, beautiful soul, I understand it’s way harder, It may take years to understand how the pain subsides.

You just went through all of this inch by inch, pace by pace, Don’t stop there! it will traumatize you otherwise & you don’t deserve it, I swear!

By: Erum Shaikh